I have a friend—we’ll call him Matt—who still doesn’t have a cell phone. Says he doesn’t need one. I’ve always envied Matt. Not needing a cell phone. I wanted to say that Matt is self-sufficient, but he’s not self-sufficient, and knows he’s not. Doesn’t pretend to be. I don’t see him anymore. He lives overseas with his wife and kids. I wanted to say that I miss Matt, but I don’t let myself miss people. It scatters my atoms. Matt may not miss me, but I can tell you that he is missing someone right now, and he will admit it. Matt doesn’t live by proofs. I even bet he’s gotten a cell phone by now—for work or so his wife can get ahold of him. And I bet that when he went to pick one out, Matt didn’t get all over himself about it, as if he were sacrificing some first principle. I would have quietly hated myself about it. Matt doesn’t hate himself, quietly or otherwise. I envy him for that. I wish I didn’t have a fucking cell phone.