foodie (n)

: oh, who among us
		could doubt you?
: you, who know
		a consommé
		from a bona fide bisque?
: please don’t let us
		buy those tomatoes,
	hateful things—
		hydroponic, hard as nipples.
: and look at this, 
		look—
	I tried to caramelize onions
		but they just
	just burned to mush.

What THE FUCK is wrong with me?